WthYou
by Kidann
Summary: A sweet but sad songfic from Naruto’s PoV, containing allusions to a boy-boy relation - DeathFic


_**Summary:**_**A sweet but sad songfic from Naruto's PoV, containing allusions to a boy-boy relation - DeathFic - **

_**Author**_**: Kidann**

_**Title:**_** With U**

_**Rating**_

_**Disclaimer**_** : It's sad… but Masashi Kishimoto don't own the Naruto characters anymore… yeah, cuz I've abducted them. Well, the cutest ones I must say… I don't care about the others, like Lee shivers**

_**Couple:**_** Naru-Sasu.**

_**Type**_**: SongFic/DeathFic (from naru's PoV.)**

**Hi there! Here's Kiddo! **

**Well, normally, I'm writing in French (my first language yeah) but I want to try something in English, just for the fun. So yeah, you may find mistakes here and there and some weird phrases but… not my fault okay? I am trying my best!!**

**So, it's a song fic on the song «**Wth You**» from Linkin Park, from their remix album called « Reanimation » (a very GOOD album I listen it all the time!!!). And as it was said, it is a Naru-Sasu songfic. I tried to make it cute but well… dunno if it really is or not! XD Well, have fun reading, and review if you want to. Once again, sorry for the mistakes loll!!**

With U

_I woke up in a dream today  
To the cold of the static  
And put my cold feet on the floor_

It is so hard waking up every morning. So hard to keep living like that. I am tired. I would like to stay in bed for the rest of my life, but I have no choice. I don't want them to be worried about me. I must play the happy guy, do as if everything was alright. And they believe it, good for me. They're sure I'm doing well. It is better like this. They don't have to know how I really feel. It's not their problem, it's mine. I am the weird one here.

I must get up. Ah… the floor is so cold… it reminds me of something… maybe my heart? Or the way you were acting with me… as cold as ice…

_Forgot all about yesterday  
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore  
A little taste of hypocrisy  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake_

I tried to forget, since you're not here anymore, but I can't. It's just way too hard. So I lie to myself and it's easier. I believe in my own lies just not to be hurt by the truth. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I hate the feeling. Sometimes, I must say I would prefer not to have a heart. Damn, living is so hard. And even harder when you wake up from the dream you built, when comes down those ramparts of lies that were keeping your eyes shut to the light of the assassin truth.

_Slow to react  
Even though you're so close to me  
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back_

You were my best friend. Well… maybe I loved you a little more than I should have for a friend… no. I DID love you more than a friend. But you were blind. Your two eyes shut to the world before you, as if… as if you thought this world wasn't made for you. Like me, you didn't seem to be able to find a place for you to be. Maybe God forgot about us. But is there even a god in this world? I dunno.

You were so close and yet, no matter how hard I tried to reach you… I never did. I know so little about you, my friend… my love.

Almost nothing.

_It's true, the way I feel  
Was promised by your face  
The sound of your voice  
Painted on my memories  
Even if you're not with me  
I'm with you_

I never told you how much I was thinking of you. Never told you how much I was looking at you. I still remember you, the you before you left. And I wonder sometimes if you're still thinking of me.

What was I for you? A rival, a friend? Or more? There's no chance for me to be more than a friend to you. You were so cold… so distant. Still, I love you. I love you so much. Even if you don't love me in return. You may hate me and I wouldn't mind. Because I love you. Love you more than my own life. More than my dreams. More than anything else.

_I hit you and you hit me back  
And we fall to the floor  
The rest of the day stands still  
Fine line between this and that_

We sure fought hard when you left. I wanted you to stay with me. Wanted to be the one… the one to bring you back… the one to catch you. But you, leaving like this, without thinking about us, without thinking about ME… it made me so mad… so mad I couldn't control myself… so we fought… and each time I were hit, it drawed a scar inside. On the wall of my heart.

My heart is full of scars. Almost saturated.

You were stronger than me. You knocked me down and damn… I was so mad at myself… and so little mad at you…

Maybe I wasn't trying enough… to bring you back… I must had fought harder… but at the same time… I was feeling so bad… that I was hurting you…

_But when things go wrong, I pretend the past isn't real  
Now I'm trapped in this memory  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake  
Slow to react  
Even though you're close to me  
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back_

I lied again. To myself. I tried hard to believe you haven't left by yourself. That you were forced to. That you were kind of abducted. And I put the fault at them. Those people you are with right now. I am jealous. Are you better with them than you were with us? What do they have more than we have? In what are they better than me? I keep on wondering. It's hard to think about anything else, when I'm alone. My thoughts are all directed at you.

Can you sense it?

_It's true, the way I feel  
Was promised by your face  
The sound of your voice  
Painted on my memories  
Even if you're not with me  
I'm with you_

I love you. Oh, so much I love you, yet I never told you... I was scared. You didn't seem to love me, so I never told you. I knew… I thought… you were going to drop me. I didn't want our friendship to be broken. If there even were a friendship between us.

You were so cold…

Should have told you, that day… how much I loved you. You were leaving anyway. Maybe, with a miracle, it would've been enough for you not to go…

Do miracles exist?

_I wont let you control my fate while __I'm holding the weight of the world on my conscience_

Always smiling, always playing dumb, it's so hard… and I'm so tired. I keep on taking on my back all the weight of those bad feelings around me. Keep on keeping for me the madness and the sadness. I am not truly happy. And it's even worst when you're not by me.

_I wont just sit here and wait while you weighin your options  
Your makin a fool of me_

Yeah… you always made a fool of me. And though I didn't seem to, I kind of loved it. Why? Because you were then paying attention to me. You were paying attention at what I was doing. So I continued playing fool. Because then you were looking at me. And it really made me happy. Even though… even though it was a little hard for me… to be thinking that you were only seeing me as a dolt… it was okay…

_You didn't dare to try and say you don't care  
And salamly swear not to follow me there  
It aint like me to beg on my knees  
Or, please oh baby please  
Thats not how i'm doin things_

Always so calm… so speechless… so cold… wasn't it hard? To be like that all the time? Was that the real you? Never smiling, never taking part of anything… I was so sad… looking at you. I weren't invited to any game, neither were you. Even though they preferred you, the dark boy, than me… the monster. And I did as if I didn't care about it. The chance you had… yet you never took it.

Why?

I wanted you to stay. So much. Just to see you grow, maybe change a little, in the way you look, in the way you are. To see you smile, oh, so precious to me were those uncommon little hided smiles of yours.

Maybe I should've kneeled before you, maybe then you would've stayed. I always wonder. But… it's not like me… notice… well, I could do anything for you. No matter how much I would hate myself after. Yeah. I think that's how I am.

_No i'm not upset, no i'm not angry  
I know love is love and love sometimes, it doesnt pay me  
I'm never without you, i'll always be with you  
You'll never forget me, i'm keeping you with me_

I SHOULD be mad at you… I should let go of those feelings too. It hurts so much, so much I almost can't stand it. I don't even know if what I'm doing to myself is being strong or stupid. I never really thought about it though. Maybe I should talk to someone about it. Nah…

You know, sometimes, it seems that you do it on purpose… when I can catch up with you or almost, when I see you in the glitch of an eye…

Love hurts so much. And they say it's the best thing that can happen to someone? Well, they don't know me. I'm like dying each time the sun gets up in the sky. Yes, every day, I feel like I'm dying. Because every day, I hope… I hope to see you, I hope I can touch you. And it's so hard, when I wake up of those dreams where I can finally be happy, with you… so hard when I open my eyes… and realize… you're nowhere near me.

Don't forget about the fool who's fool enough to fool himself.

_I wont let you take me to the end of my row  
Or keep burning and torching my soul  
No i'm not your puppet  
And no, no, no, I wont let you go  
_

I am alone, searching for you, every day. They get worried, a little, when they don't see me around for a couple of days. So I can't really get too far away from there. So I can't really chase you. Don't really have a chance to reach you.

Thinking I couldn't even reach you when I was beside you… how the hell could I reach you now? Now that you're on the run… free.

Do you feel any freedom? Are you happy where you are?

Do you worry about me sometimes? Do you even remember me?

I won't give up. I can't give up. That's the way I am. I won't let you flee. Not from me. If you go, why don't you take me with you! Eh… I know why…

Because you don't love me. And I'm nothing to you. Nothing more than « the fool, the dumb ». Idiot enough to make you smile, sometimes, though. God, I miss your smile. The last time, you seemed so mad at me… when you fled, I was almost crying. I wanted so much to tell you… but when you're there, before me, I can't say a thing. The only thing I can do is looking at you. But you never stay long. Haha, I talk as if I was seeing you often… and it's so wrong… I saw you twice… or something like that.

I want to see you again.

But I feel like I'm at the peak of the rope… and now I'm not strong enough anymore to call for anyone's help.

_No, no matter how far we've come  
I can't wait to see tomorrow  
No matter how far we've come  
I, I can't wait to see tomorrow_

With you

I've gone so far… I did so much… I tortured my soul. And now… finally… I can see you. You're there, right before me. Looking at me from above. I tried to stop you. I really, really gave everything I had left. And there I am, on the ground, deceived. You really seem to hate me… I feel like I'm going to cry. Yeah… there's the tear. They're not even late. Always on time. And I feel so weak. I can't even stay strong before you. You're so out of reach. And you seem so alone, yeah. That's what I feel, looking at you right now.

You look at me from up there, you must be so disgusted at me. I want to tell you. But I don't have enough strength left to say anything. Keeping my eyes open is so hard. But I don't want to close my eyes. I want to look at you. God, you're so beautiful. You've growned haven't you? You seemed taller. You're a lot stronger too. And… darker… and… so… so beautiful… yet so sad.

Why? Why are you sad?

That's it… I can't have my eyes open anymore. I can't… see you anymore. But I can feel you're approaching me. I feel you staring at me. Eh… is that rain? Is it raining? No… it's you, you are… crying? Why? Why? I don't want you to cry. I should be the one crying. And I am. Why in the hell are you…

_With you_

_You, now I see, keeping everything inside_

_With you_

_You, now I see, even when I close my eyes_

_With you_

_You, now I see, keeping everything inside_

_With you_

_You, now I see, even when I close my eyes _

I fought hard to open my eyes again. You are crying. For me? I can't believe it. It can't be. I close my eyes again. So exhausted. That hand you put on mine, it would make me smile, if I had enough stamina. But I don't, yet I try my best to. It's so hard. But I love you so much.

All the strength I have left, I use it all to move my lips. So you will know. Because it doesn't matter now if you love me or not, since I'm going… it's sad… I don't want to… but… in fact, I'm not really mad. If it had been someone else… but you're the one who…

I love you. I love you so much.

All my limbs, they feel heavy. I want to move but I can't. I want to hug you. Maybe you guessed about it, because now you take me in your arms. It hurts. I can feel my blood leaving, being freed from my cold body. Yes, I'm cold. But you're warming me up, a little. It feels good. I'm happy. You're still crying. Please… please stop. It's not that sad. You don't love me anyways.

Or… do you?

Know what? I am not sad anymore. I can die happy. In your arms. With the sensation of your lips on my lips. I can't believe it. You kissed me.

I love you. I'll be waiting for you. Take your time. I will be patient. I swear I will wait for you.

**Omg, ****I worked some hours on that fic. And… I must say I'm pretty proud of myself. And I have to confess: I almost cried at the end. And Nemesix too (she's always the first one to read my fanfics or anything else I can write) Well, reviews? **


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